First day of work.

Wednesday marked my first day on the job at the Academy of Sciences in Prague. Important sounding name, right? The building even looked important with the European Union and Czech flags flying high against a dramatic backdrop of the city. Surely an important looking building of academia in the heart of Prague would serve as a beacon of enlightenment in the sciences and a cutting age resource center for all the latest procedures and equipment.

Alas, I was poorly mistaken.

The first thing I saw was a sea of sandals and socks. Oh no.

In no way can this end good.

I sucked it up like a champ though and continued on with my new boss Aleš, who was busy introducing me to the staff. Aleš is the type of guy that you'd want around if you were stuck in a deserted forest somewhere with a grizzly slowly going in for the kill. He's huge. And he wears flannel shirts. And has a ponytail longer than mine. What was bizarre though was that halfway through whatever he was going to say he would interject with a, "hoo-hoo!". I was kind of hesitant about this but I let it slide since all science geeks are off their rockers so I'm sure this sort of behavior is acceptable.

Later I found out he had Tourette's.

The particular lab I work for in the Academy is part of the Institute of Physiology and focuses on the neurophysiology of memory and computational neuroscience. Aleš showed me around, introduced me to everyone - all of whose names I can barely pronounce. Everyone seemed real nice and friendly, despite being Czech and wearing socks and sandals.

Finally he introduced me to the rats.

I hate all forms of vermin. However, if you want a science job usually you have to get past this since this is all you work with. Besides, I feel like it would not go over well if I refused to work with rats, after they went through all that work to bring me out to eastern Europe.

So I swallowed any revulsion when they showed me how to prepare them for the behavioral tests by attaching the diodes and electrodes and whatnot.

I bit my tongue when they showed me how to hold them in such a way that it almost seemed like cuddling.

But everyone has their limits.

Where they draw the line.

Throw down the gauntlet.

My breaking point was when, in the name of stress free environments for the rat, my boss insisted that I carry the rat around ALL DAY in my lab coat pocket. Y'know, just so he could get used to my scent.

Just me and the rat. Chillin.

This sort of thing would NEVER happen in even the most backwash lab in the US. I think there are about 300 codes that violates.

I wish this was the most bizarre thing that happened while I was at work that day. But no my friends, it gets worse, and if possible, MORE unsanitary.

There is a special lab room where the injections are given to the rats. Tomas was showing me how to give an injection of a beta blocker into the intraperitoneal cavity of a rat. My gut reaction was to freak out in the name of sterile technique once I saw him take the rat, sans gloves, and stick it with an unsanitary needle.

No gloves.
No sanitation.
No mercy.

The chain of events that ensued seriously made me question all I know in modern science.

Tomas pricked the rat too deep and the rat started to bleed a bit. In between juggling the bleeding rat and a paper towel, he stuck himself in the finger with the needle of beta blocker. A muscle relaxant. So now he's bleeding. Keep in mind that he is, of course, without gloves so his blood is mixing with the rat blood. He somehow manages to get the rat back in its cage and wipes the blood off the counter with just a dry paper towel and leaves it there.

And then the unspeakable happened.

The finger thats bleeding and covered with rat blood is inserted into his mouth in order to clean it off.

....

Let that sink in for a second, along with all the implications.

Horror.