I love the nightlife.

Some overzealous fashionistas at Radost FX

Prague nightlife is amazing.

I don't know how else to describe it. Everything about day to day typical Czech life echoes old Communism values - except for the nightlife. These people know how to party. A typical night out starts around 8:30 PM and doesn't let up till about 5 AM - unless of course you're ready for an afterparty. If that's the case, then there are a handful of clubs rumored to be operated by the Russian mafia (ex KGB?) that don't seem to follow the curfew.

In the past 2 weekends I have been to the following places:
The Batalion
La Fabrique
Radost FX
Futurum
Chapeau Rouge
ZanziBar
Termix

I am absolutely exhausted.

What's interesting too is the dresscode here. I've seen everything from sky high stilettos, to some guy literally wearing denim overalls (just as horrific as it sounds).

And of course, in typical fashion, I have frequented and am now a huge fan of the gay clubs here. Lucky for me, my first friend here was a fellow fag hag so I was introduced to the world of beautiful men and fabulous house music early on.


The very gay, very packed Termix


Ashley, Peter, Kevin, and I posing as doubledaters


ZanziBar has a MASSIVE menu of every cocktail imaginable

So far, very impressed.

Except with the denim overalls.

Peeing statue.

During my nightly city explorations, I came across this delightful piece of art close to the Franz Kafka museum:



They are some sort of animatronic statue so the figures aren't just stationary fountains, but dynamic in their realistic movements. Almost too realistic. It's actually kind of creepy.

In addition to the moving and shaking, the figures actually pee out famous quotes from the Czech. But that's not where it ends, no no no. To make things even MORE creepy, if you send a text to a certain number, the quotes will be interrupted and the figures will pee out your message.

...

For the full effect, I'm including a video I found on youtube about this. Y'know, as backup evidence just in case you were crazy enough to think I could make up something like this.

Peeing statue

In America, public urination will get you arrested and labeled as a sex offender. In the Czech Republic, not only is it ok - they build a statue commemorating it.

Not quite.

Looks like the Czech people have mastered the science of parallel parking.

First day of work.

Wednesday marked my first day on the job at the Academy of Sciences in Prague. Important sounding name, right? The building even looked important with the European Union and Czech flags flying high against a dramatic backdrop of the city. Surely an important looking building of academia in the heart of Prague would serve as a beacon of enlightenment in the sciences and a cutting age resource center for all the latest procedures and equipment.

Alas, I was poorly mistaken.

The first thing I saw was a sea of sandals and socks. Oh no.

In no way can this end good.

I sucked it up like a champ though and continued on with my new boss Aleš, who was busy introducing me to the staff. Aleš is the type of guy that you'd want around if you were stuck in a deserted forest somewhere with a grizzly slowly going in for the kill. He's huge. And he wears flannel shirts. And has a ponytail longer than mine. What was bizarre though was that halfway through whatever he was going to say he would interject with a, "hoo-hoo!". I was kind of hesitant about this but I let it slide since all science geeks are off their rockers so I'm sure this sort of behavior is acceptable.

Later I found out he had Tourette's.

The particular lab I work for in the Academy is part of the Institute of Physiology and focuses on the neurophysiology of memory and computational neuroscience. Aleš showed me around, introduced me to everyone - all of whose names I can barely pronounce. Everyone seemed real nice and friendly, despite being Czech and wearing socks and sandals.

Finally he introduced me to the rats.

I hate all forms of vermin. However, if you want a science job usually you have to get past this since this is all you work with. Besides, I feel like it would not go over well if I refused to work with rats, after they went through all that work to bring me out to eastern Europe.

So I swallowed any revulsion when they showed me how to prepare them for the behavioral tests by attaching the diodes and electrodes and whatnot.

I bit my tongue when they showed me how to hold them in such a way that it almost seemed like cuddling.

But everyone has their limits.

Where they draw the line.

Throw down the gauntlet.

My breaking point was when, in the name of stress free environments for the rat, my boss insisted that I carry the rat around ALL DAY in my lab coat pocket. Y'know, just so he could get used to my scent.

Just me and the rat. Chillin.

This sort of thing would NEVER happen in even the most backwash lab in the US. I think there are about 300 codes that violates.

I wish this was the most bizarre thing that happened while I was at work that day. But no my friends, it gets worse, and if possible, MORE unsanitary.

There is a special lab room where the injections are given to the rats. Tomas was showing me how to give an injection of a beta blocker into the intraperitoneal cavity of a rat. My gut reaction was to freak out in the name of sterile technique once I saw him take the rat, sans gloves, and stick it with an unsanitary needle.

No gloves.
No sanitation.
No mercy.

The chain of events that ensued seriously made me question all I know in modern science.

Tomas pricked the rat too deep and the rat started to bleed a bit. In between juggling the bleeding rat and a paper towel, he stuck himself in the finger with the needle of beta blocker. A muscle relaxant. So now he's bleeding. Keep in mind that he is, of course, without gloves so his blood is mixing with the rat blood. He somehow manages to get the rat back in its cage and wipes the blood off the counter with just a dry paper towel and leaves it there.

And then the unspeakable happened.

The finger thats bleeding and covered with rat blood is inserted into his mouth in order to clean it off.

....

Let that sink in for a second, along with all the implications.

Horror.

Grocery shopping.

My first night here my roommates were really nice about everything - mainly not forcing me out into the cold to fend for myself and find my own food. The opened the fridge to me and ...all of the 3 things in there were offered.

On my way home from work, I figured now would be a good time to pick up a few things in order to return the favor. It seems like they only buy for a few days at a time, so doing the same seemed like a good idea.

Prague hasn't seemed to jump on the supermarket bandwagon yet, so I was forced to go to the local Polish mini grocery store and begin my foray into food buying here. I was instantly greeted by a man with a long ponytail and socks with sandals. Not a good start.

During this entire endeavor, I also forgot that not only do I not speak Czech - I can't read it either.

I WANTED to get ham and cheese for sandwiches... thanks to some shoddy labeling and no pictures, I got imitation butter and some sort of meat that can in no way be edible. Great.

Even better - nothing was refrigerated in there. The cheeses, the milks, the meats. Nothing. Either the Czechs like to play russian roulette with their intestines, or they're genetically engineered to withstand this sort of biological warfare. I am certain that I will catch some sort of parasite before this internship is done.

New flat.

On Monday I left for a 6 week internship in Prague. Lucky for me, my boss managed to hook me up with a sweet apartment in addition to the stipend I'm getting. He said it was in a nice area, good neighborhood, etc. I was excited.

And then I got to thinking about what constitutes descriptions such as "nice" and "good" in Prague. As much as Prague is a beautiful city (for the most part), some things are just lost in translation.

I thought about the last time I was here. And how I saw this:


Lost in translation: in Prague they call this a hotel; in America they call this condemned.

Lucky for me, my apartment IS nicer. There are, however, a few quirks that one would simply not encounter - not even in Dracut.

1. A front door that looks like it's been barricaded for some war - which most likely it has been.


Please focus on the lock mechanism for a moment.


2. Artwork that predates the current government.


3. The need for some sort of dried produce on the wall in order to drive away evil spirits.


Who am I kidding, we're Greek - obviously we have that.

4. No need for a door to the shower room.


What's missing from this picture? Oh, that's right, privacy.

5. Modern electricity.

Upon arriving, I unpacked all my things - my laptop being one of the first. I plugged the adapter into the wall and my laptop to the adapter. A quick flicker of the LED light on the box and then - darkness. Within my first 2 hours in the country, I short circuited the apartment.

This is obviously EXACTLY the type of first impression I wanted to give my new roommates.

On top of all these lovely amenities, my roommates were gracious enough to give me the keys to the apartment so I don't have to rely on them during my comings and goings. I whip out my keychain in anticipation... only to be given a pair of skeleton keys. That's right, the type of keys they used during the Middle Ages.

Fancy.